Ashy-Boy the Player
by Crazy Pintos
Summary: Sure, Ash can handle one bimbo at a time, but what happens when all of his lovers meet? Ash-bashing! >D -Chibi


I do not own Pokemon, this credit goes to. some Japanese guy. I never did much research on the series. Anyway, in spite of my lack of knowledge about Pokemon's history, I hope you enjoy!  
  
  
  
Their whispers wove through the thick and promising air.  
  
Blackness shrouded the tiny tent in which the voices lay, and it jerked every few seconds as their whispers grew harsher.  
  
"Hold on. Hold that thought. I think I hear something," came a shrill voice, dampened by caution. There was a moment of silence and then a rustling of polyester and sheets before Ash Ketchum's head peered out the tent's flap. In his hand was a monkey puppet.  
  
Shortly after, Gary Oak's head peered out next to his, face contorted in disappointment. "What's the matter?" he whined.  
  
Ash shook his head. "Don't you hear that?" Gary strained to perceive the sound that his partner spoke of, and then with a sigh, stood abruptly. Still alarmed, Ash jerked him back down. "Aw, come on Gary, we were having fun," he pleaded.  
  
"I'm just going to check it out, baby," Gary assured him. "I wouldn't leave my Ashy-boy."  
  
Ash, somewhat comforted, released Gary and allowed him to venture out into the darkness.  
  
Hands clasped at the soft pink towel wrapped around his middle, Gary peered about the bushes. Finding nothing, he turned back to Ash, shrugged, and was walking back to his lover's arms when a squeal of, "Achoo!" jarred him back into defensive mode. Immediately identifying the source of the sneeze, Gary snatched a lavender-haired teenager up by his collar, glaring sternly at him. "What are you doing out here?!" he demanded of the Rocket called James.  
  
James' partner, Jessie stood triumphantly. "We simply had to ruin something," she replied. Seconds later, Misty's head bobbed up from the bushes, her eyes filled with tears.  
  
"Ash," she wept. "How could you?!"  
  
From behind Gary, Ash leapt to his feet in an identical pink towel. "I do, Misty! Really!" he cried in protest.  
  
The two Rockets threw their heads back and cackled at the triangle of insanity.  
  
Outraged, Ash accused Jessie, "It's not like you've never cheated on HIM!"  
  
Their laughter dissolving, James turned for Jessie and whimpered, "Jess?"  
  
"What?! I would never-" Jessie broke off and shook her head. "Besides, we weren't even having a relationship like you fags!" she sputtered.  
  
Again, James looked betrayed and whimpered, "We're not?"  
  
Jessie elbowed him sharply and he recoiled, squealing. After processing the gesture, he burst into fiendish cackles.  
  
"Look, I want some answers now!" Gary bellowed. "What the hell is she doing here?!" he demanded, stabbing an accusing finger for Misty.  
  
Misty burst into tears.  
  
Ash, doing a little jig of frustration, ran for Misty and French-kissed her.  
  
(everyone screams)  
  
Misty fell back, gaping at him, and then "made a dive for it". In a matter of seconds, the two were "making out" on the "ground."  
  
Gary, Jessie, and James stood gaping at the most disgusting sight ever beheld by anime eyes, causing James to lose his lunch (of tea and crumpets, of course). Snarling, Gary ran into the "fight" and "pulled them apart".  
  
"YOU CALLED ME YOUR GAR-BEAR!" he shrieked.  
  
Flustered and confused, Ash could only lower his head in shame. Upon doing so, he noticed the yellow rodent, Pikachu, tugging at his towel. It looked upset.  
  
Gary's eyes shot down to the rodent, then back up to Ash, who was bright red.  
  
Misty was now on her feet and glaring at Ash. "Who ELSE have you been cheating on?!" she demanded.  
  
Ash swallowed hard, a sweat drop the size of a watermelon inching down the size of his head. "Well, gotta be fair." He picked up the rat, stared affectionately into its eyes, and then thrust himself into a passionate kiss.  
  
(everyone runs for the bathroom)  
  
Both Misty and Gary screamed in horror, sputtering in disgust and wondering how many times they had done this behind the camera.  
  
Jessie and James, fed up with watching amateurs, frolicked away.  
  
Ash and Pikachu, still engrossed with one another, did not notice as Gary picked up a shovel.  
  
For now, I shall draw the curtain of courtesy over this scene, and skip right ahead to the epilogue.  
  
Gary and Misty were married at the age of 13, and moved out to Alabama where they made numerous Jerry Springer appearances. They missed Ash's mojo from time to time, but not on a normal basis.  
  
And now, we join the Rockets.  
  
"Whoa," James gasped, falling into the bed as Jessie crept towards him like a tiger.  
  
If you haven't realized what is happening at this particular moment, you're an idiot. Because the Rockets. WERE PLAYING ZOO!!  
  
"Rar, I'm an elephant!" James squealed, romping around in their flowerbed. "Ba, I'm a goat!" Meowth added.  
  
All eyes were directed towards the cat and snapped, "That's a sheep, you idiot."  
  
THE END 


End file.
